Suki-Rose Simakis @RuPaulPupkin

This note that arrived with an Etsy order is... the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. WTF Peggy.

my daughter was wearing a flannel hoodie so I said “hey, the 90’s called” and she replied “yeah cause they couldn’t text” and godDAMMIT I’m getting really tired of my kids owning me

Twitter: @MoshWithTyler

neha @ughneha

told my dad i got a new job and this is his response? 🥰

I can't believe I married someone of the male species. Look at the shit I have to deal with.

Guy in the pickup honking, yelling at woman to move out of the street. She yells back "my dog is shitting, wait a minute!" I ❤️ NY

Yesterday a girl walked into class with an iced coffee and my prof told her she couldn’t have it so she just walked out and never came back and I can’t stop thinking about it

No need for an alarm clock at my Nanna’s house this morning when you have plank wars going off at 8am

There shall be only one Maureen Johnson on Facebook, and I guess it will be this other one.

When will it end

My apartment really just tried to charge me $955 for moving out 20 minutes late.. I walked straight to their corporate office, and pulled the “my lawyer will be in touch with y’all soon card” and 3 minutes later the charge was dropped... I ain’t even got a lawyer 🤣🤣🤣

need

How it started: How it ended:

My daughter made $110 on her lemonade stand today, in like an hour. Turned out people were handing her $5s and $10s and she was just assertively saying thank you for the tip, and not offering change.